


The Long and Winding Road

by Bees_forever



Series: SPN Song Challenge Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Dean's time with Lisa and Ben, Mentions of Drunk Dean, heart broken castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 07:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18089957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bees_forever/pseuds/Bees_forever
Summary: After Dean went to Lisa, Castiel can't help but return to him and he can't talk to him either. So he writes a letter to him.





	The Long and Winding Road

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing the SPN Song Challenge Bingo, so this is me filling the first square I got. I'm so glad this song was part of my card! I love it and I haven't listened to it in a while so it was really nice to listen to it again for this Bingo.

Dear Dean,

 

I know I shouldn’t be here.  
I should just leave you alone.  
I should let you live your peaceful life with Lisa and Ben.  
I know, I know, I know.

But I can’t I’m not strong enough.

 

Every time I’m on the road, this long and winding road, I can’t help it.  
It’s the one you followed in your car after Lucifer and Michael… well, you know exactly what happened.  
I come back there a lot and I find myself following it every time.

You might be wondering why I am following it, as in I _walk_ it and not _fly_ like I normally would; you’d probably have a snarky remark about that as well.  
And the answer is, to be honest, I don’t really know.  
I think it’s because, when I’m walking, I at least have the chance of turning around and deciding I shouldn’t go.  
I never turn around though.  
The road always leads me here.  
Leads me to your door.

 

You probably wouldn't like it if you knew, but I watch you whenever I'm there.  
Watch you living your comfortable life with Lisa and Ben.  
I'm glad you have them. They seem to be giving you the support you need right now.

But I wish Lisa would have woken up sooner in that one night I came and you were standing in the garden, even though it was wild and windy and raining.  
You were crying and I think you were drunk, and I almost made myself visible.  
I didn't, but I tried my best to heal the symptoms of the flu you got afterwards without making it too obvious.  
It's not Lisa's fault, of course, I understand that.  
You always cry at night.  
You cry for the day, so you can be there for Lisa and Ben during it.

 

I wish it could be different, Dean.  
I feel… I _feel_.  
_You_ made me feel.  
And because of that, I'm here now.  
Because of that, I keep coming back to you.  
You’re the human that made me realize that there might be more to life.  
You’re the human who showed me what ‘family’ means, what friendship means, what love means.  
And many times that makes me feel so alone.  
If I were capable of it, I would cry as you do.  
Of course, you're crying for your lost brother, while I would be crying for my love.

It's pathetic, really. But this is how I feel about you. You're my love. And you will never know.

 

I’m going to leave you again now.  
Until the road leads me back to you.  
Until you lead me back to your door.  
And I'll be waiting.  
Waiting and watching and hoping.  
I don't know for what.  
But I'm an angel and I'm always watching over you.

 

Castiel.


End file.
